No Booty Calls
by Ilandere Okami
Summary: Right after he bombs his hide-out, Mello calls Matt to help him out. Apparently, Matt doesn't like it. Based after and using some lyrics to the song "No Booty Calls". Funny, angsty, slightly sad... MxM All dialogue


**Author's note: I don't remember how I got this idea. Whatever, Mello calls Matt soon after the bomb and apparently, they've talked before after he ran away from Wammy's House. Based after and using many of the lines from "No Booty Calls" by Kelly. My first all-dialogue fanfic; don't feel like writing their names down repetitively, but you can figure it out…**

**Also, this is to tide you guys over until my new story comes out. It's gonna be fully written when I start posting, but coming out in chapters, okay? Already 32 pages in my journal…fuck I have to type that all up. And until then, there's no more "Midnight Scars" or "Frozen Hearts" but I might write a little "All My Death Note" or "Fall and Rise Again." Wish me luck!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or "No Booty Calls" or Mario**

**_____**

No Booty Calls

_Mario theme song _((**That's right, that's Matt's ringtone; got a problem w/ it?))**

Hello?

M-matt! Thank G-d you're there!

What the hell do you want, Mello? It's one in the morning.

Matt, I need your help.

Perv, what are you saying? You broke up with me!

No, Matt, I'm serious.

Did your newest boyfriend leave you or something?

No!

Oh? So they're just taking a bathroom break?

G-d dammit, Matt!

Go back to your fucking porn, Mells!

*Groans*

You want phone sex now?

It fucking hurts!

NO BOOTY CALLS, DICK!

That's not why I'm calling!

Wait, are you saying you want to be uke this time?

JUST FUCKING HELP ME!

Are you drunk, Mello?

Huh?

Are you even sure this phone number's mine?

Uh…what?

That seriously confused you? Fuck you, I'm hanging up. Honestly, I thought that you wanted to have a serious talk with me or something to call at this time of night!

NO! MATT!!

What a baby.

Jesus Christ! Matty, just come over and help me out!

I am not answering to any more of your booty calls, Mello. You've fucked me and fucked with me enough. I can't take it anymore! You were with a bunch of other guys—and girls—while we were together, and then when I finally cut you off, you come crying back to me with a hard on you can't get rid of! Guess what? Instead of my dick, I got a brand new boot for your ass!

THAT IS NOT WHY I FUCKING CALLED YOU!

Stop playing Romeo and Juliet with me. I don't wanna stab myself!

WHO SAID I WAS JULIET?! And we aren't talking about that!

What the hell do you want, Mells?

I need you to help me out of this G-d damn mess!

I get it! You're horny and need me to come over and give you a hand job or a blowjob or maybe you really wanna be with me. But seriously, Mells, I have had ENOUGH of you! Get one of your other bitches to do it for you, 'cause I'm not your dog anymore! *Starting to tear up*

Don't hang up, Matty!

Why not? I never wanna hear from you again!

Because I fucking love you!

…

*Groans* Please, you have to come to my hideout.

…

I think I'm about to die!

…

There's blood everywhere and everyone's dead but me! AND I CAN'T GET UP!!

…Wait…what happened?

You wouldn't let me tell you earlier: I sorta…bombed the place to save our asses, and kill the fake L's minions. Didn't work out too well for the mafia…except me of course. Come on, come over, and get me to a hospital.

I'll be right there, Mells! And…I love you, too.

*Dial tone*

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**Author's note: So...what do you think? So weird, I know. But it was SO much better in my head. Can you understand the plot sorta? Mello and Matt were lovers, but Mello was a player. Finally, Matt broke it off with him, but Mells kept booty calling him. He's totally had enough and is completely pissed off right now. And Mello had to confess his love for Matt to shut him up long enough to explain…**

**I was trying to fit as much of the lyrics from the song as I could. Yes, some are a little mixed up. Can you spot them all? I've counted and know, so good luck and tell me in your review!**


End file.
